HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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