I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
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