According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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