Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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