Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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