I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.