I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Say something about gay babies.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
