therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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