Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
