i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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