The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
