Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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