i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
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