he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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