i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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