"it" just moved
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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