I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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