If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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