he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
