This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
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She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
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No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
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