no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
