My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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