I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
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