I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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