so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
