i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
