Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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