I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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