I just pynch a tree in the face
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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