hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
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