real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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