Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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