You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
i now understand why vodka
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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