bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Randomize
