I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
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She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
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i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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