I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
