If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
