So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
