im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
