Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
