The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
