every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
We talked him into tasing himself.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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