i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
In America we eat man semen.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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