I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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