I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize