I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
