I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
