I'm eating all of the evidence.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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