I haven't been this sober since birth.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
