You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
