Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
