Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
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I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
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At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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