I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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