so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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