She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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