I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
