2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Randomize
