Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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