hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Randomize
