Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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