i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
thus making me awesome and them whores
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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