I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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