I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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