I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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