We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
