Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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