After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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