Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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