i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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